He, who will not be named...

It was yet another classic case of media overkill, the media reporting that he was served four chapattis, brinjal sabzi, dal and rice on an aluminium plate, that he slept on a concrete bed without an air-conditioner, quilt or a mosquito repellent, obviously, since he was in jail, that he was first locked up in Barrack No. 10, but was later shifted to Barrack No. 1 for security reasons, that he was getting no special treatment from the authorities of the Arthur Road Jail except for his toiletry and cigarettes (how much of a 'treatment' were the jail authorities getting for allowing him the cigarettes?), that he has been finally moved to Pune’s Yerawada Jail, that he would be attending a course on Gandhian philosophy called ‘Gandhi Darshan’ in Yerawada Jail and would also write an exam or ‘Gandhi Vichar Pariksha’, which is scheduled for October 02. Meanwhile his sister, an MP, has met the Congress chief to discuss her brother’s case. The Information and Broadcasting minister, Priyaranjan Dasmunsi, has expressed “shock and surprise” on the six year jail term that was awarded to him… Well, I’m not doing a PhD on the real life persona of the much-loved Munnabhai nor am I joining the celebs faction in condemning his jail term. All I’m doing is expressing my anguish over the battery of news that is heaped on me. Every one of his sneezes and farts since he went to jail has been reported by the overzealous media and I’ve been subjected to so much news reports of his on every news channel, newspaper and the net that I’m almost in a transcendent state of Nirvana at the amount of knowledge I’ve gained about him in the last few days and that is the prime reason why I'm not naming him here.

A search on Google for news articles relating to his jail term gives out 338 articles from only the Times of India. Why is the media trying to make a martyr out of an oaf who has confessed to hobnobbing with the erstwhile kingpins of the Mumbai underworld? Justice P.D.Kode, probably a fan of his – his undeserving comparison to Gregory Peck establishing it - executed his duties quite impartially. But, is the over-the-top reaction reviling the six-year jail term justified? The justification of his crimes being the result of inanities of youth and a difficult childhood are as nonsensical as they can be. He had celebrated his 48th birthday a couple of days before he was sentenced and was about 34 when committed the misdemeanour. If 34 is youthful senselessness, then he must be in the record books for having the longest ever teenage life. As for his difficult childhood, it is no secret that he was a junkie right from his teens and if every criminal claimed reprieve due to a difficult childhood, our jails would be as empty as George Bush’s personal library. He is not a terrorist, say his supporters. I’m not saying he is. He is a dim-witted fool who couldn’t even properly pick his friends, who, after getting a reprieve due to his late father’s political connections, still continued his association with the same bunch of gangsters, glorifying them in his movies, trying to deify them as individuals who were wronged and later scorned by the society.

“Pray for me”, were the words the media ascribed as his last for some time to come. I just might; not for his release or his realization of his follies, for I know he is incapable of it, but for his continued incarceration and his exit from the media glare and spotlight so that I can get a much needed relief.